I fantasize about living inside the Metropolitan Museum of Art

on
This could be me! (A scene from Night at the Museum, aka.
best-movie-ever!!)
When I was younger I used to fantasize that the mall would close and I'd be there alone with free reign of the joint.

 I figured I'd give myself a shopping spree, eat Auntie Anne's pretzels until I exploded and I'd spend 5 hours trying on shoes with no interruptions. Then I'd clear out by morning.

Since then I've matured quite a bit.

Now I fantasize about living at the Metropolitan Museum of Art in NYC.

If I could live inside the museum without breaking all kinds of federal laws, I'd totally take up residence as a squatter and I'd be so happy.

I'd have plenty of bedrooms to choose from.
The more I think about it, the more it makes sense for me to live there.

I love art and "Night at the Museum" is my favorite movie ever.

Here's how I'd make it work....

My home base would be a bedroom in one of the English period rooms. Or maybe a French one, anyway they are all lavishly furnished with fantastic antiques that I could never afford.

I'd snuggle up on a 200-year-old French silk comforter and I'd read my books on King Louis XVI style sofas in large gold gilded tea rooms lit by ancient and priceless chandeliers.

Second favorite movie of all time!
But mummies scare me
What would I do about food? Well fortunately, they've recently added a poshy restaurant (with crab cakes on the menu) so eating or having a kitchen wouldn't be a problem because I'd just use the kitchen or eat leftovers. I'd just sneak in there after dark and make myself sandwiches. Or, if I desired lighter fare, I'd skip down to the cafe and just eat overpriced chips (but I wouldn't have to pay because they'd be closed, remember?)

I'd keep far away from the Egyptian wing after dark because The Mummy is another favorite movie of mine and they creep me out.

If I ever needed to defend myself against a mummy attack, I'd set up a fort in the Medieval Armor wing. There, I could dress myself in a full knight suit of Medieval Armour and I'd arm myself with Samurai swords and ninja stars.

In case of mummy attack, summon the knights!
A jousting match would ensue.
When my friends would come over to visit, I'd take them to the Modern Art wing and show off my Salvador Dali paintings, my Normal Rockwells and Picassos. Man I'd love to have that kind of art on my walls!

If I ever got lonely I could hang with the Greek and Roman statues in the great hall. Also, I'd definitely recruit Hercules for battle in case of mummy attack.

Ever since my recent trip to the Met with my boyfriend, I can't stop talking about my plans to secretly inhabit the museum.

Then this morning after writing this, I texted my boyfriend:

Me: I want to live inside the Met.
Him:I know.
Me: I'm reiterating.
Him: Clearly.

Good, I was thinking to myself. Because the next part of my plan is to recruit him to come squat with me in the museum. That's going to be the hard part.