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| You're never too old for a Happy Meal. |
The pharmacy was closing in ten minutes and I had to get my medication before 6 p.m. or I would have to wait til Tuesday because it was a holiday weekend.
Where the hell are my keys!
"Did you call the pharmacy?" he asks me.
"To say what?" I ask.
"I don't know, to see if they'll wait for you?"
I stared at him. "I'm waiting in the car," I said.
I ran into the car, waited like a minute staring anxiously at the clock. We have eight minutes to get there through summer traffic. I laid on the horn, thinking What on earth is he doing in there?
Boyfriend comes running out carrying what looks like a six pack of beer. He jumps in the car and puts the six pack on the floor in the front seat.
"What is that for?!" I say, pointing.
"I didn't think we were coming back," he says.
"Ever?! You didn't think we were coming back ever?!" I ask him.
He looked at me like I was crazy.
"We're going to the Walmart," I said.
"I just thought we were going out after the pharmacy," he explains, "And then you were honking, and I wasn't sure what we were doing so I grabbed the beer."
"I don't understand," I say.
"I didn't want us to be without beer," he answered.
We both stared at the bottles and then we both started laughing uncontrollably.
So we took the six pack with us to the Walmart pharmacy.
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| When in doubt... bring beers? |
On the way there I try to change every red light using mental telepathy. I figure that it worked about 50 percent of the time. I did not tell boyfriend I was doing this.
We screech into the Walmart parking lot at 5:59 p.m. and boyfriend says, "Don't even stop I'm just going to run in."
I slow down near the door, "Be careful baby!" and he pops out and runs through the doors.
I park like a blind woman and run in after him.
I get there at 6:02 and he's at the counter talking to the pharmacist, "And she's right here, so you can ask her," he tells the woman as he notices me approach.
"Did he get my birthday right?" I ask her.
"Yes I got your birthday right," he answers for her, "And I spelled your last name right."
The pharmacist confirmed. I was impressed because I'm always trying to trick him by telling him my birthday is on different days.
The pharmacist bags my medicines and tells me, "Take one of these 2 times daily and do not stop taking it until the medication is finished. This medicine makes you more sensitive to sunlight, so if you go outside without sunscreen on you will burn," she tells me, "Do you understand?"
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| Who orders a plain hamburger? |
I took the meds and we started to leave the Walmart. Because I wasn't paying attention to her warnings, I was trying to read the labels on the bottle.
"It says I should take it with food," I told boyfriend. "I need to get some chicken nuggets."
He sighed, "What?!"
I pointed to the McDonald's inside the Walmart that was just up ahead.
"Oh I thought you wanted to buy frozen chicken nuggets," he said. "I thought that was weird."
We went to the McDonald's. I ordered a chicken nuggets Mighty Kids meal.
I'm eating it and I hear the cellphone camera snap. I look up and boyfriend's got the iPhone cam trained on me, "I have to get a photo of this it's hilarious," he says.
"What is?" I ask him.
"You're eating a happy meal," he says, reviewing the photo and laughing. "I'm putting it on Facebook."
"Why?!"
I have no idea why he thought this was so funny.
The happy meal is the PERFECT portion size for me AND it comes with a toy AND it's only like $3.
I don't understand why people get anything other than happy meals at McDonald's.
Boyfriend orders a plain hamburger.
"Oh," he says disappointedly, as he opens up the bun. A sad little burger pattie sits in the center of a brown-stained bun. "They really mean plain huh? There's no ketchup, no pickle, no nothing."
I hand him a sympathy nugget.
"I didn't know this was a part of the Walmart," he says, eyeing the little dining room.
"Should we go get the beers?"