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| It started with these guys.... |
"Oh man that smells awful," I tell him.
"I'm going to write to the Better Business Bureau to complain about the burps that PF Changs gave us," he says.
Earlier, we'd met some friends at the P.F. Changs by the Freehold Mall. Our dinner was bangin' but somehow, the combination of lettuce wraps, crispy crab wantons and sesame chicken mixed up and simmered in our stomachs to create the most potent, horrific burps that have ever escaped a human.
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| This lady was in my stomach, cooking up smelly burps. |
Thank god they're burps and not something else, I thought.
I used my hands to wave the smelly air away.
They were worse than the dog's burps when he eats the kitty-litter-crusted cat poop.
"What are you going to write in it, that the food made your burps smelly?" I asked sarcastically.
"Yes," he said resolutely. "I'm going to complain that PF Changs made my burps smell horrible."
"I wonder what they'll do for you to resolve the complaint," I wondered.
"Maybe they'll give us coupons," he said. "You should write a letter too."
"Yeah, I should."
I could totally use some PF Changs coupons.
"We should get ten of our friends to all write letters," he says.
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| Gross. |
I was faring a little better because I had popped some Pepto Bismol pills in the car.
"I feel bad burping," he said, looking around. "Every time I burp I have to stand back 10 feet and wait for them to disperse."