I’m sitting on boyfriend’s orange couch when a soft scuffling noise nearby attracted my attention.
That’s when I noticed the most horrific, terrifying creature I’ve ever seen moving toward us faster than a speeding bullet.
“HOLY SHIT!” I was up in an instant, flailing my arms and screeching as I retreated to the front door, never taking my eyes off the creature lest he crawl up my leg and bite me.
Boyfriend bravely jumped up to confront the monster.
As he’s struggling to aim his stomping foot, I’m screaming in the background, “What is that thing?! Oh my god. Kill him!”
He stomps on the thing 2 times as I’m yelling, “Why is it indestructible and the size of a mouse?!”
“Relax, he’s just a bug,” he says calmly, delivering a fatal blow like a hero.
Once I’m certain that the creature was squished and not twitching anymore I inched closer to inspect it.
Man this thing was ugly.
It had a thin brown body and like a million long twitchy legs and these whisker things that give me the heebie jeebies.
“Where did he come from? Do you think there are more of him?” I asked, hunting for cracks or crevices that could contain his long-legged bug friends.
Later that night, I lay in my bed 46 miles away from my boyfriend’s home AND the bug carcass and I STILL caught myself straining my ears as I remained on guard for bug noises because I was terrified of one sneaking along my wall and climbing into bed with me.
So when I woke up the next morning, the first thing I did was Google “Philly house centipedes” so that I could arm myself with some kind of knowledge.
I learned that they’re venomous, aggressive predators that eat other bugs and bite people. I wanted to cry.
Also, they live for 3 to 7 years.
That’s when I noticed the most horrific, terrifying creature I’ve ever seen moving toward us faster than a speeding bullet.
“HOLY SHIT!” I was up in an instant, flailing my arms and screeching as I retreated to the front door, never taking my eyes off the creature lest he crawl up my leg and bite me.
Boyfriend bravely jumped up to confront the monster.
As he’s struggling to aim his stomping foot, I’m screaming in the background, “What is that thing?! Oh my god. Kill him!”
He stomps on the thing 2 times as I’m yelling, “Why is it indestructible and the size of a mouse?!”
“Relax, he’s just a bug,” he says calmly, delivering a fatal blow like a hero.
Once I’m certain that the creature was squished and not twitching anymore I inched closer to inspect it.
Man this thing was ugly.
It had a thin brown body and like a million long twitchy legs and these whisker things that give me the heebie jeebies.
“Where did he come from? Do you think there are more of him?” I asked, hunting for cracks or crevices that could contain his long-legged bug friends.
Later that night, I lay in my bed 46 miles away from my boyfriend’s home AND the bug carcass and I STILL caught myself straining my ears as I remained on guard for bug noises because I was terrified of one sneaking along my wall and climbing into bed with me.
So when I woke up the next morning, the first thing I did was Google “Philly house centipedes” so that I could arm myself with some kind of knowledge.
I learned that they’re venomous, aggressive predators that eat other bugs and bite people. I wanted to cry.
Also, they live for 3 to 7 years.
That’s longer than the life span of a gerbil.