Having bad grammar makes you look like a....

Moron.

It's true. Text messages, IMs, MySpace and Facebook profiles that are poorly edited make me want to scream. Maybe it's the journalistic streak in me, but I fanatically copy-edit everything from aspirin bottles to yard sale signs.

These are the most common errors, and they're not hard to learn. (Yes, grammar is boring, but it's so vital. Anyone who can't memorize these simple rules is not worthy of fingers [Yeah, fingers... for typing those unedited messages, duh]).

Contractions people, gosh. Can't (can not) get them right? Just remember that a contraction is two words turned into one by use of an apostrophe. It's (it is) not favored in formal writing but that's (that is) not what you'll (you will) usually be worried about .


Word shortenings like "2" are appropriate when used sporadically (and for space-saving purposes), but there's no excuse for fucking up to and too.

"I went to the store." There are usage rules here that are blabby, all you have to know is, that you use "to" in all cases except when you mean "as well" or "also" or "in addition to."

Example:
"I want to go too." In this case, too means also, or as well, or in addition to. "I want to go also, I want to go as well." Ok? Easy right?

They're, their and there. (They're all different!)

THERE: Ok so there is used to designate a location. "Put it over there" or "Alli" in Spanish.
Or used as a pronoun to introduce something, "There is bird poop on your shoulder, gross."

THEIR: Indicates joint or shared possession. "It's their anniversary today." <-- joint.
"The team lost their undefeated title. " <---- shared.

THEY'RE:
It means they are. It means they are. It means they are. "They're going to buy a blow up doll." It means, they are going to buy a blow-up doll. Got it?

ANNOYANCES:
LOL: Ugh, it's so overused that it's like a really old pair of underwear that needs to be thrown away, so lose it. You are not laughing out loud. If you are laughing that much, and that loudly after every other sentence in an IM conversation, then something's terribly wrong with you. Only a maniac laughs maniacally, over and over again as we discuss something as mundane as back-to-school shopping.